No i’m not good, no matter how happy i may be one day the next can always be something different. I try so hard to be happy, i’m starting to think i may just try too hard. Things never seem to go the way i want them to. I put too much thought into stuff, and over think it and thats what always gets to me. I hate having feelings for people. Its like another person having so much control over you. Like something they say can change your mood. Thats why Im so shy when it comes to talking about feelings, i hate opening up because once i do, then the person knows how much they mean to me and with past experiences they tend to take advantage of that. I can’t even say I won’t ever fall for another guy again because that would be all lies. I’ve had to get through this kind of thing before. Yea for a few weeks life sucks but as time goes on it gets better. But as of now, we can be friends once all this passes. I don’t want you out my life all the way just enough for me to be able to get back to the old ways.
Heart breaks suck ! The day it always happens is always filled with tears and you feel nothing but pure sorriness for yourself. The next day is always the WORST, you always think about ALL the memories you’ve shared. After a week goes by you feel kind of sad but you’re alright. & after a month has gone by , you couldn’t be any happier that they’re no longer in your life.
I went to the beach and I no longer went to draw your name in the sand, it felt so good knowing you aren’t as special to me anymore as much as I thought you were. Now only he consumes all my thoughts and now he’s my 11:11 wishes. I wish this was a good thing. Too bad, he’s just another asshole like you were.
What sucks is that fact that about four years ago I fell in love with a guy I thought was an asshole who broke my heart. A little over a year ago I was relieved to finally get over that what I thought was an asshole to only fall in love with a bigger asshole. A few weeks ago I started talking to a guy who I knew from the beginning wouldn’t mean crap to me only because I knew inside not to fall for any guy again. Yet did I fall for him,yes sure did. Today I look back on everything, wishing I would have just stuck to the first guy I fell for, life would be so much easier. I guess if I never moved on, he wouldn’t have gotten the opportunity to see that I wasn’t always going to be there for him. Now I know he loves me deep down, it’s too clear for him to deny it even if he wanted to. I wish he’d just admit it and hoping that maybe once he admits it, i’ll fall back in love with him <3 People say you never love anybody more then your first true love, i’m hoping they’re right and one day the one guy who I know can treat me right will do nothing but that and we can be happy again ?
My feelings for you are starting to sky rocket without any warning. I don’t know how my hearts going to take it when I have to let it know, who you really are.
I hate not knowing who I have feelings for, or who I want to really be with, who I’m really in love with and in reality who is really worth fighting for or just letting go. I hate it, maybe if they didn’t play so many games at the end of the day I knew who I really cared about.
He makes my days better, I love him more then words themselves can say.
There isn’t a day I don’t think about you Grandma, I miss you so much ! I hope you’re happy where you’re at. We’ll all see you someday.
- I can’t stop thinking about him.
- When he texts me, I get a huge smile on my face.
- I give him a ringtone that reminds me of him.
- I let him get to me.
- I get upset when I see other girls write all over his wall /:
- I always want to be with him.
- I laugh at everything he says.
- I get the urge to want to text him but don’t cause I want to see if he will first.
- but most of all, when he hugs me I don’t want to let go <3
^ GREAT, I have all of them :l
Woo hoo, so I haven’t completely gotten over the guy I talk about in all my post but I have come such a long way. So a week ago, on this coming Sunday I started hanging out with this really cute guy and when I say he’s cute boy is he freaking cute but let me get back on this whole thing on what I’m trying to say. Okay well him and I have been friends for about eight or nine years now but he lives in Stafford the only reason why he comes out my way is because his grandpa is my next door neighbor. So lately he’s been burning up my phone ” telling me to come outside with him ” and all that other good kind of stuff. So me, the one with no life, of course goes out with him. He’s had this one girlfriend that he goes off and on with for almost three years now, so yea you know all the feelings that have to be there for her. So from the beginning I told myself “ Absolutely NOT Jade ” but I guess the more I hung out with him the more I began feeling something for him. I know it’s wrong being that girl he messes around with behind her back and all but now i’m all like ” I want him ” We take walks together, go to the park together, we can laugh and hangout , I can wear no make up around him ; which I feel like I can never do around other guys, so that’s def. a plus. He gives me those super long, tight, hugs. & I don’t know he just gives me that feeling of having a crush but what I do know is every time I feel this way towards a guy it’s when I finally let him start to get the best of me. So I am so confused on what exactly to do. Do I completely cut him off or should I fall completely head over heels for this boy ?
I’m sitting here going through different tumblr pages reading all the cute but sad love BS. While I’m reading all this only ONE thought is running through my head, that one thought being you ! I freaking hate the fact that no matter how hard I try you won’t just come back to the way you and I were before. I fucking, excuse my language but I fucking miss you. I miss you to the point where I’m grumpy all day long, I feel all empty 24/7, I can’t sleep at night. I hate that crap, you once made me believe you wouldn’t fucking leave me. But where are you to be found right now, right now like as June 20th at 10:41 pm ? I don’t fucking know cause you & don’t speak. Want to know why, cause you’re a complete fucking idiot. You don’t appreciate the kind of girl I am. You know how many times a day I hear how fucking lucky you are. But does that matter to you ? HELL NO , nothing matters you these days. I want to fight for you, boy do I want to fight for you. But I can’t, I can’t keep looking desperate. I would do anything for you, absolutely anything, you name and you got it. I won’t tell anybody this but my biggest fear right now is you beginning to love her. That new girl you’re talking to. Something you were never able to do to me. What am I doing right now, me writing makes everything worse, when I write all 1549826 memories we’ve shared goes racing through my head and it makes it so much harder to move on. Do you ever have thoughts or memories of me ? Do you ever miss the way we used to be ? If I was to have to answer those questions for you, it would be yes I always think of you and our memories we’ve had and oh my do I miss the way we freaking were ! I miss them so much where sometimes I can’t even fucking believe the fact that it’s gone. How did you do it ? You’re not a fucking super hero so how come you act like you’re so perfect and have no feelings. As if you never get hurt or anything like that. You let me lay up in your arms and then literally the next damn day you cut me off once again. STOP just STOP you fucking idiot you can’t do that shit ! I’m beginning to hate you. Day by day you break me down more and more. When we do talk you insult me time after time, you fucking asshole ! You wanna know what I think of you ? I think you’re a lying , cheating , two face asshole who has a thing for easy ass sluts. Yea I said it, you’re not going to hurt me again. You aren’t, so don’t you dare think you will another day in you’re life cause you won’t. Next time you kiss her remember where her mouth has been and just think your’s has been there now too, all because of a girl who’s obsessed with putting dick in her mouth. Excuse my language, when I get so upset it tends to just come naturally.
Tonight I really freaking miss you ! & to tell you the truth I’m really getting sick and tired of it.
I miss you. Not enough to want you back, but just enough for it to hurt.
At the end of the night, God you make everything alright and I can’t tell you how grateful I am of that. Really, I love you so much. Thanks for everything you do for me. I know within time you’ll make everything near perfect for me and that’s why i’m holding on and being strong and patient for you. All my doubts I have in the back of my mind always fade more and more everything you prove to me no doubt should even be there because you have never let me down to the point where you haven’t made it better.
